


Crash Land

by whump_tr0pes



Series: David & Nia [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Caretaking, Consensual Sex, F/M, Flashbacks, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-01-31 12:20:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whump_tr0pes/pseuds/whump_tr0pes
Summary: David comes to terms with the fact that Nia might choose to leave him.
Relationships: David & Nia
Series: David & Nia [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1481636
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This comes directly after "I'm in recovery." I just can't stay away from these two. I just want to write every minute of their relationship. 
> 
> CONTENT WARNING: mention of torture, death, and suicide. Nothing graphic.

David rolled over in the dark, his mind far away from sleep. _This is stupid._ He sighed and shook his head. _She’s safe, that’s all that matters. Go to sleep, idiot._ He moved onto his back, eyes staring straight ahead. _This is ridiculous._ He sat up and walked to the hall, snapping the light on as he went.

He went to the kitchen and stopped, leaning on the sink. He shook his head again. _She’s coming back. She promised._ His eyes moved to the kettle on the stove and he reached for it robotically. Something to do. He filled it absent-mindedly in the sink and put it on the stove, turning the burner on. He reached for the cabinet to his right and rummaged around the boxes of tea. _Chamomile. Let’s go for a solid cliché, here._ He sighed as he pulled a mug out of the cabinet and threw the tea bag into it.

His eyes were unfocused as he waited for the water to boil. He leaned on the counter, propping his chin on his hands.

It had never entered his mind that Nia might not want to be with him. Things had been hard, yes, but they’d been hard because of the war she was fighting in her mind. He had never questioned being with her. From the moment Graylan had pressed a gun to his head and told him to choose whether she would walk into his trap and live, or die before she could reach him, the first time he’d kissed her, when he watched Graylan’s men wrestle her to a chair, beat her, _shoot_ her…from the moment he’d heard her scream he’d known. He would do anything for her. Die for her. He was so stupid to have missed it, to not have realized how he felt about her before then. It had put her in danger. He had become emotionally compromised.

But she had, too. She had fallen in love with him, too. She had known it, when she drew her knife to defend herself after his betrayal and realized she couldn’t hurt him. She had sacrificed herself for him, had done her damnedest to die for him. She had thrown herself in harm’s way to protect him. No matter how hard he tried to protect her, the bullets meant for him always seemed to tear through her. Much as it killed David to think it, he knew she wanted it that way.

And now she might want to leave.

_She promised. She’s coming back. _

He’d had no idea she had felt like a burden. His eyes filled with tears at the thought of her suffering through her nightmares, her panic attacks, her moments of dissociation where she didn’t know where she was or that she was safe, yes, finally safe and Graylan was dead… And to know now that she was fighting a battle on another front, resisting the help from her friends because she felt she didn’t _deserve_ it… David swallowed hard. He didn’t know anyone who deserved to be safe more than she did.

He came back to himself as the kettle began to whistle. He pulled it from the stove, turned off the burner, and poured the water over the tea bag. He watched the swirls of steam rising from the cup, willing himself to be calmed by it. _I have to be strong for her now. She was strong for me, lived through the torture, and this is how I help her now._

He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to admit it to himself. But he’d had nightmares, too. Not as frequently as hers, but he was still haunted by the sight of her, bound to a chair and bleeding and broken and nearly dead. Sometimes he could still smell the blood and sweat and – he shuddered to think of what else. He’d been to the range only once since she had been saved. He’d taken his gun in his hands, aimed at the target downrange, and pulled the trigger. He didn’t know what happened after that. All of a sudden he was feeling the gun recoil in his hands as he shot Graylan, twice to the body and once to the head, screaming in his mind, begging God or anyone else listening that he wouldn’t hit _her_. Knowing that if he did, he would turn the gun on himself. Watching Graylan crumple to the floor, dead so quickly he didn’t have time to look shocked. Then he’d felt Tom’s hands on his shoulders, easing him to the ground, heard shouting in his face, reached for his weapon but it was out of his grasp, safely unloaded and empty. He’d begged Tom to let him go, let him make sure he was dead, to please let him just be _very fucking sure_ – _who’s dead, David?_ – _Graylan, please, let me go – he’s dead, David, he’s been dead for a month, you killed him, you’re alright, we need to get you out of here – _

David didn’t realize he was crying. He wiped his arm across his face, clearing his throat. _It’s nothing compared to what she went through. I need to pull myself together for her._

He warmed his hands on the mug. _And after all that, after what she faced, after all the pain and fear…she would leave me for my sake._ He closed his eyes. The last six months had been hell. The therapy, the surgeries, the EMDR that made her scream and left her sobbing and shaking for hours after, the medications that made things better some times and worse other times…

If he allowed himself a selfish moment…he didn’t want her to go. He loved her, hurt as she was. He refused to think of her as broken. She wasn’t broken. Graylan’s torture hadn’t changed how he felt about her. He’d tried to just look at the next step, and the next, but when he allowed himself to imagine a future, he imagined it with her. Keeping her safe, holding her when she needed it, but _with her_. Maybe if she wanted to get married, maybe have kids…once they knew for sure that they were safe, truly safe, that everyone who wanted to hurt her or kill her was dead, maybe they could have a future together where they were free, and happy… The thought of her leaving was like a knife to the heart. It scared him, feeling like that. Feeling so close to someone that their absence could level him. Feeling like the one he would die for might not want to be with him at all.

He stood at the counter, the mug forgotten in his hands. A shuddering wave of sadness broke over him. Not sadness – grief. _Who am I to say it’s her PTSD talking? If she wants to leave me, I won’t try to stop her. I owe her that, at the very least._ He pressed his arm against the hot, bitter agony that tore at his stomach and chest. _I can’t lose her. I’ve almost lost her so many times._ His tears splashed onto the counter. _If she wants to walk away, I have to let her._

He froze at the sound of a car coming down the street. He didn’t breathe as he listened to it get closer, then pull into the driveway. His heart slammed in his chest as he heard the car shut off, then a door slam, then her slightly limping footsteps coming to the front door. Her key scraped in the lock. The door swung open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God, I couldn't help it. I had to get real indulgent on this one.

David watched her with reverence and disbelief as she walked through the door. _I can’t believe she came back._ Tears were still wet on his cheeks. _She promised._

She met his gaze with a strange look on her face. Her eyes were dark with fear and exhaustion – they always were, nowadays – but there was something under it. Calm. Resolution.

And desperate longing.

He didn’t dare move. He didn’t dare do anything that would scare her, make her run right back out the door and never come back. He scarcely dared to breathe.

She looked away momentarily to lock the door behind her. She paused, contemplating. Then she turned back to him and reached out with one hand. Slowly he approached her, hands at his sides and open, showing her they were empty. He stopped a few feet from her. She pulled off her jacket and left it on the ground at her feet.

She closed the distance between them and placed her hands on his chest over the shirt he’d worn to bed. He trembled at the touch. It had been so long, _so_ long since she had been able to touch him like this. It had been so long since she’d touched him without clutching him like he was a raft in a storm, digging her fingers into his shirt and sobbing as he held her after the nightmares, throwing her hands up to shield herself from him when she forgot where she was… He shut his eyes, letting her explore his chest with her hands. Run her fingers over his shoulders. His arms ached with the effort of not pulling her to him. He stood as still as he could, savoring her gentle touch.

He felt her hands on his face and opened his eyes. Her eyebrows were pulled together in concern. “You’ve been crying.” She wiped the tears from his cheeks.

He bit down on his lip and shook his head. _Not her problem._

She cradled his face in her hands. “David…please.”

He knew what she was asking. He knew his voice would break if he tried to speak. To his frustration, tears of shame began to well in his eyes. She waited, watching him.

“I…thought…” His voice was a whisper. “I thought you might not come back.”

She tilted her head. “But I promised.”

“I know.” He looked down, trying to avoid her gaze. He felt completely exposed in front of her. “But I…I didn’t know. I didn’t know if you would want to.”

He saw tears form in her eyes as well. “I’m sorry. I…”

“No.” He shook his head. “Don’t. Please.”

She searched his face for a moment. Then she put a steady pressure on his chest and began to push him backwards towards the hall. He put up no resistance and moved with her. He watched her face, letting her guide him back until his back pressed against the wall. Her hands moved from his chest down his arms to his wrists. She pressed them back against the wall. He understood and when her hands ran back up his arms, he kept his hands at his sides, motionless. Letting her have complete control over him.

She traced her fingers up his neck, around his ears, through his hair. He shivered. His skin burned under her touch as she relearned him, caressing him like she hadn’t done in six months. He watched her as her dark eyes moved over his body. After a moment she closed her eyes and leaned into him, pressing her forehead against his. He opened his mouth at the feeling of closeness, at the smell of her, muddled a little bit by the smell of fear she always seemed to have on her now but still _her_. He nearly whimpered with longing and desire and bittersweet joy. His heart thundered in his chest.

Slowly, softly, she pressed her lips against his.

His muscles strained to keep him against the wall. His mind was screaming with the knowledge that it had never been so important for him to stay still, to let her come back to this, to let her feel safe but god it was _Nia_, she was _right there_ and it had been _so, so long_…

She hadn’t kissed him since she’d been saved, either. There was the occasional chaste peck on the cheek or the tender kiss on the nose, but not on the mouth. He whined deep in his throat at the feeling of her lips against his, at the feeling of finally kissing her after so long because she needed time but he wanted this _so badly_, needed the feeling of her body pressed against his like he needed air. As soon as he made the sound he choked it down. _She can’t feel pressured._

Her hand went to the back of his neck and she pressed her lips more firmly against his. Her tongue moved along his lower lip. Tentatively he opened his mouth to her and nibbled gently on her bottom lip. He felt her smile against his lips.

She moved her hands to waist and pulled him away from the wall, walking him backwards into the bedroom. It was dimly lit by the light from the kitchen. She didn’t reach for the light switch, so neither did he. He kept his hands firmly by his sides. Her fingers moved to the hem of his shirt and she began to pull it up over his head.

He almost protested. _You don’t have to do this, Nia._ He realized that she knew it, and that was why she was doing it. She didn’t have to. She _wanted_ to. She dropped the shirt to the bedroom floor. Her hands went to the waistline of his pajama pants. She hesitated for a moment before pulling them and his underwear down around his hips. She guided them down his legs and to the floor. He stepped out of them, pushing the clothes to the side with his foot.

Her eyes moved over his naked body. He felt hypersensitive with the air against his skin. Neither of them had been naked with the other since she’d been saved. He met her gaze steadily. Her hands went back to his chest and she was pushing him down to the bed. He sat with his back against the headboard.

She crawled onto the bed on top of him and straddled him. He gasped at the sudden sensation of the seat of her sweatpants pressed against him. Her hands went to his face and she caressed his bottom lip with her thumb. She leaned over him and kissed him again.

He couldn’t help the moan that rose from his chest. Her warm lips against his, her body pressed against him, the feeling of her weight on top of him was so good and sweet. He tipped his head back and opened his mouth to her, helpless. She wrapped her hands around his wrists and moved his hands to her waist. He pressed his fingertips into her back and sought out her lips, kissing her deeply.

She moved her mouth with his, getting into a rhythm. She pulled his face up to meet hers and dragged her teeth against his bottom lip. He shivered. Her breath was coming heavier. She raked her fingers through his hair and pulled his head to the side, baring his throat. She kissed down his neck, ending at his shoulder.

Then, almost unconsciously, she rolled her hips.

They both stiffened at the feeling.

He began to tremble, desire pouring hot through his blood. She gasped at the feeling of pleasure that took her by surprise, almost forgotten for the past six months. _This felt good once. And it feels good now._ She rolled her hips again, and again, pressing against him, then grinding her hips against his. Her body seemed to come alive at the sensations that began to rise from where she was pressed against him. She could tell that he wanted her, too.

She reached for her shirt and pulled it off over her head. David froze, hands becoming still on her waist. She leaned over him and kissed him, feeling her breasts brush against his chest. She shivered. He hesitated as he kissed her.

“I want this, David,” she whispered.

He looked up at her, his eyes full of concern and hunger and love. “Are you sure? Because you don’t -”

“I know.” She ran her hand through his hair. “I know I don’t have to. But I want to. Please, David. If you want me too then…please…” She moved his hand to her hip and pressed it there. “Please.”

He searched her face for any sign that she was just saying it for his benefit. He found none. “Ok.” He closed his eyes and leaned into her again.

Instead she climbed off him and gently pulled her pants and underwear off. He watched as she pulled them off her legs and left them on the floor. She crawled back on top of him and settled herself over him again. He gasped at how wet she felt already. He moved his thumb to her clit and began to make slow circles. He stopped briefly at her sudden intake of breath, but resumed when he saw her face break into an unfamiliar look: ecstasy.

“It’s been so long,” she whispered, “since I…felt good…” She put her hand on his shoulder and began to rock her hips against him, coating him with her slickness. He panted with need and focused on making those small circles. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back as she moved against him. She drew in a sigh and let it out.

“Do you want…more?” His eyes were wild with desire. She nodded. She lifted herself up, felt him press against her opening, and slid down onto him. They groaned together as he filled her up. For a moment, neither moved. She leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms went around her waist. They sat still together, listening to each other breathe. Then, slowly, she began to move with him.

She worked her hips against his, slowly, gently. He reached up and stroked her face. She smiled at him, her eyes filling with tears. “Do you remember how we made love our first morning together?” he whispered. She nodded. “It was just like this.”

“That was a long time ago. Over a year ago.”

He nodded, eyes fixed on her. He pressed his mouth against her breasts, pulling one nipple into his mouth. She gasped. A little cry left her throat.

She moved faster with him. “I missed this. So, _so_ much.”

“Me too,” he whispered against her chest.

She shifted her weight and ground herself against him harder. To her absolute surprise, she felt him hit that spot inside her and an orgasm began to rise in her. She gasped. “I didn’t think I…could…”

He smiled as he realized what she meant. He moved his mouth to her other nipple and grazed it with his teeth. She whined. “David…”

“I love you, Nia,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

“David I…I love you too…” She moaned as pleasure coiled tightly in her pelvis. His breaths were coming in hitched gasps. His fingers tightened on her back. “Not yet,” she begged. “I’m…ah…” She rode him hard, chasing the edge of her climax. It rose into her chest…she gasped…

She unraveled around him with a cry. He came moments later, groaning her name and pressing his face against her shoulder. She trembled with shock and pleasure. “David,” she sighed. “Thank you. Oh…”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against him. “Oh god, love…I love you. Thank you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you, too,” she whispered, biting her lip. “But…if I can’t…later…”

He stroked her hair. “Never, honey, you _never_ have to. I’m so happy we had this but you _never_ have to.”

She nodded, some of the pain returning to her face. He pressed a hand to her cheek. “Can I hold you?”

“Yes.” She rolled off him and pressed against his side. “Please.”

He stroked her hair as he held her to his chest. “I’m so proud of you, love. I’m so grateful for you.” He kissed her, pulling the blanket over her. She tucked her head under his chin and cuddled against his chest. She listened to his heart beat, still quick, and then slower. The sound of the _beat beat beat_ of his heart and the whispers of his breath moving through his lungs soothed her to sleep. He pressed his lips to her forehead. The feeling of lying naked with her, skin pressed to skin, soothed an ache in him that he’d tried to force down for six months. He listened to her slow, even breathing as tears rolled down his face in the dark.


End file.
